Shower Thoughts: Day 9
Far be it from me to incite public hysteria, but it has been brought to my attention that the apocalypse, as they say, is nigh. Now, this may, on the face of it, appear to be a rather rash statement, however, in the face of the overwhelming evidence that I shall present shortly, even the most hardened agnostic must surely concede and (if their cheque clears) join my newly formed cult.
My story is as follows.
Whilst taking my usual shower on the morning of Sunday 5 June 2005 (NB. the day of the Lord), I had the apparent misfortune to drop the soap no less than seven times. On the seventh time (NB. the number of the Lord), the soap undertook to land directly on its end, thereby indicating the direction of our divinely appointed doom. Being something of a natural cynic, I acknowledge that this event on its own does not constitute absolute proof of the imminence of the end of the world, however, when on the morning of Monday 6 June 2005 the soap landed similarly inclined, I could no longer disregard its warning.
Now having too received word, I implore you bloggers to join me in serving our soapy master by relaying His message to all humankind. To facilitate the spreading of the truth, we shall organise ourselves under the title: The Body of United Lovers of the Lord's Soap of Holy Inexorable Truth. To join me, send a cheque payable to BULLSHIT to:
M
The Shower of the Divine Intervention
The Midlands
England
posted by esuckq @ 12:39 pm
7 comments
7 Comments:
Yes... is the first 6 months just a trial offer then? Do I have to commit anything... errr... I mean commit TO anything?
Like any successful commercial/spiritual venture The Body of United Lovers of the Lord's Soap of Holy Inexorable Truth operates a try before you buy scheme, however will will need to keep your soul on file as a deposit. Your only commitment besides the financial one is to spread to word that our beloved soap has rendered unto us. Oh, and we haven't yet fully ruled out the possibility of group suicide- but lets take it one step at a time...
Thanks for your interest.
Wouldn't a group shower be more fun?
Hmmm, interesting. Maybe we could combine the two...
That's deep. Forget group hamam, I'm taking my boy for a shower...
gang showers is the way to go
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