Shower Thoughts: Day 9

Far be it from me to incite public hysteria, but it has been brought to my attention that the apocalypse, as they say, is nigh. Now, this may, on the face of it, appear to be a rather rash statement, however, in the face of the overwhelming evidence that I shall present shortly, even the most hardened agnostic must surely concede and (if their cheque clears) join my newly formed cult.
My story is as follows.
Whilst taking my usual shower on the morning of Sunday 5 June 2005 (NB. the day of the Lord), I had the apparent misfortune to drop the soap no less than seven times. On the seventh time (NB. the number of the Lord), the soap undertook to land directly on its end, thereby indicating the direction of our divinely appointed doom. Being something of a natural cynic, I acknowledge that this event on its own does not constitute absolute proof of the imminence of the end of the world, however, when on the morning of Monday 6 June 2005 the soap landed similarly inclined, I could no longer disregard its warning.
Now having too received word, I implore you bloggers to join me in serving our soapy master by relaying His message to all humankind. To facilitate the spreading of the truth, we shall organise ourselves under the title: The Body of United Lovers of the Lord's Soap of Holy Inexorable Truth. To join me, send a cheque payable to BULLSHIT to:

M
The Shower of the Divine Intervention
The Midlands
England

Shower Thoughts: Day 8

M's Step by Step Guide to Thursdays:

Yawn
roll over
remove eyes from package of protective slime
look reticent for a while
direct fuzzy gaze slowly towards clock
hazily mull over the words twelve o'clock
linger whilst reality goes about the slow process of dawning
leap out of bed
dive into shower
rub frenziedly, applying soap only to such areas as have been deemed essential
jump out of shower
devote at least ten minutes to the removal of water from ears
spend the rest of the day languishing in front of the computer
go to bed late.
Repeat.

Shower Thoughts: Day 7

A wise man once said "when you don't have anything to say, don't speak". That wise man was me, I shall heed his advice.

Shower Thoughts: Day 6(/137)

Hmmm, 137 days- who would have guessed I've been sitting finals...
Well, the frenzied action of the last four months has finally yielded to the monotonous expanse that is the rest of my life, and I'm back in the shower.
Shower thoughts have, of late, been dominated by my latest aquisition- foam letters that stick to the bathroom tiles. What ensued from the infinite possibilities presented to me is far too weird to relate here, suffice to say that nazis, werewolves and moose all made an appearance, with a brief cameo by that old favourite- midgets... very pc.
And so I leave you with images of cross-dressing werewolves chasing nazi midgets riding moose around my bathroom, and I offer you a warm welcome back to the unremitting abyss of attention-defecit-induced improbability that I like to think of as my brain... enjoy.